Radio Protector

All the feelings in my chest began to swell slowly; the sounds of my surroundings fading completely as new tones resonated in my head.
The tight feeling in my chest was smothering me, but it was strangely pleasant.
The feelings of this taking me over, the feeling spreading down through my body, right to my knees, making me tingle.
The heart speeds up, attempting to match. The pictures flood my mind, my enraptured state is difficult to work in and I feel like I need to speed up to match, to catch up with all of the feelings. It’s so fast, it progresses like a time lapse, you see so much in so little time. It’s forcing you to. Forcing you to remember.

Stop.

I don’t want to…

Slowly, the chimes.

I feel my heart slow, my chest still heavy and my mind still filled with a process I remember very well.

It starts again, it’s so slow, so soft, comforting, refreshing, release…

Start again.
My heart pounds into action the words flowing like air from my body, the sounds bringing back memories it could have no idea I have, feelings I should never have experienced, ones I still have. They are awful but those noises, they force me to remember, to see them all again, to experience it. my eyes well up, I want to cry, I want to fall to my knees and scream, it’s so strong, making me so weak, it’s so violent but so soft, so powerful, I want to shake it out, I want to hold my head and shake and shake until it stops, until it leaves, until I can feel normal, I don’t want this but it’s so beautiful and painful and loud and quiet and so many words could be used, but no matter how right they are they seem wrong, nothing is this perfect.
Nothing is this feeling.

Stop again.

Slowly it calms down.

My heart slows, my mind stops racing

My jaw unclenches, when did it start that? my body relaxes, the emotions leaving once again, the feelings flooding out of my veins.

Until next time, reminder. 

Until next time, protector.